To get you started, here are 4 people whose bizarre behavior can only be explained by the fact that Desktop Tower Defense play has caused an unexpected break with reality.

Sarah Palin – How else could we even begin to explain the bizarre antics of this woman? She consistently amazes the thinking world with her inability to do just that. Think. The best guess is that she is deeply addicted to Tap Defense. It absolutely HAS to be Tap Defense. All the rest of the games are too hard. Come to think of it, half of the people in the United States must be wasting their Friday nights right along with her. However, it was recently reported that the Russians know who bombed that Moscow airport and it wasn’t Sarah Palin.

Charlie Sheen – No brainer. This guy is addicted to Creeps because he is one. The only thing scarier than a monster in your closet is Charlie Sheen in your bedroom. Actually, he probably ought to keep playing this computer game on Friday nights because it’s better for his reputation than doing business with escorts and hitting his wife. It’s also a healthier addiction.

Mel Gibson – If there were only one computer or iPhone in Hollywood, Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen would probably fight over Creeps, so let’s give Mel his own Friday night tower defense game. A man with so many delusions probably plays Zombie Attack and chances are he really believes those ghouls exist. Unfortunately, the dehumanizing epithets he’s probably shrieking at the Zombies are being used against every minority he’s ever encountered.

Billy the Exterminator – What a strange guy. So redneck, yet so knowledgeable about bugs and creepy crawlies. It’s the crazy studded uniform that makes it a dead giveaway that this guy spends his Friday nights playing that girlie tower defense sensation, Garden War. If anyone would know how to build a backyard tower maze to defeat bugs, it’s this guy. You can bet he’s a champion. His mama probably plays this game too.

Okay. You get the idea. There are so many tower defense games to play that it’s undeniable that every brand of weirdo and loser in the world must have one he or she is obsessed with- and it’s also light enough that EVERYONE can play meaning, those with true geekalicious gaming laptops, or those with netbooks.

Happily, most of us are obsessed and that means…we could be weird too.

10. Guns: A gun is a loud, powerful way to wreck what you don’t like and create what you do. As a tool of war, a gun is man’s most powerful possession (unless you have your own missiles).

9. Tools: With a hammer, you can beat on things with impunity. With a saw, you can conquer a tree and then build your house out of its corpse. Yeah, tools are manly.

8. Fast Cars: If it pushes you back in your seat, it’s got power. And men love power in all its incarnations. Anything a man can use to chase down his prey faster is all right.

7. Getting a Great Deal: New car deals and dollar specials on beer are two of man’s favorite things. What’s better than getting what you already love, on the cheap?

6. Meat: Whether you chase it down at 200 miles an hour or chased it down on foot, there’s nothing like taking a bite out of your latest conquered beast. Bonus points if it’s still alive when you do.

5. Fire: Fire can be used to keep you warm on a cold night on your tundra of choice. It can be used to cook meat, and it can be used to burn your enemies, Viking style. And if you have more hair than you know what to do with, fire can take care of that, too. Is there anything fire can’t do?

4. Missiles: There is nothing manlier than pushing a button, then hearing that a few thousand miles away you’ve blown up something massive. Don’t like that bridge or building? A missile will get rid of it! Plus it gives you an excuse to use tools to build something new in its place.

3. Big Vehicles: There’s nothing quite like a truck that can haul a boat. Or a boat that can yank a whale out of the water. The bigger and louder the vehicle, the manlier it is.

2. Booze: Beer is great, but it’s not alcoholic enough. Real men pour Everclear into their eyeballs, because that is the fastest way to get drunk. And go blind so you don’t have to work anymore. Real men don’t need eyesight.

1. Hot chicks: The ultimate conquest, hot chicks are pure pleasure. Great to look at and great to touch. How many hot chicks can you handle at once? A real man can’t count that high without employing both fingers and toes.

If this had been a list of things men hate, it would’ve said missing stuff (like targets or landmines). So chime in if it’s not here but it should be.

IKEA Heights from DaveAOK on Vimeo.

From the authors of Would You Rather, comes Do Unto Others, A Life’s Little Instruction Book for those looking to add a little lunacy to their lives.With over 1,000 off-the-wall things to do in over 50 locations (churchs, shopping malls, public bathrooms, etc.), Justin Heimberg and David Gomberg have created a laugh-a-minute guide to disturbing and disgusting those around you.Here are some sample suggestions:Things to Do During a Job Interview–Answer all questions in interpreti… Buy Do Unto Others: 1000 Hilarious Ways to Screw with People’s Heads at Amazon

Step One: Kill with Kindness
After the big kiss-off, the first thing to do is – despite the almost overwhelming desire to stomp the floor and break all your former employer’s pencils – shake his hand. Always end on cordial note. Being nice may lead to new connections. In addition, being nice keeps security from escorting you off the premises.

Step Two: Gather the Troops
More than likely, you’ll have a day or two before you’re officially out of a job. Take that time to do work. Ignore those last calls or that spreadsheet. Instead, address your financial sandbags. Print out coupons on the office printer. File for unemployment. Do some research on ways to save money. Sites like moneysavingguide.com offer tips and tricks that will make the interim between jobs as painless as possible.

Step Three: Pillage!
Next, there are many tools that you will need and that your office has just laying around. Paper, for example. Most career experts will suggest on applying to at least twenty jobs per day. Even in the age of the Internet, some places will demand snail mail or at least a fax. A ream of paper is nothing to your employer whereas to you could be the ticket to your dream job! Also, get as much toilet paper as you can. Stores may charge up to $2.00 for a roll of toilet paper. Think of it as part of your severance package.

It’s going to be tough from here on out but if you took the time to stock up while you could, it will be a little easier. Good luck!

[via Buzzfeed]